Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sober January is a disaster.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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