I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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