my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
