I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
