is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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