Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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