He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
