Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
