doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
