so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
