I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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