addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he thought i was a dude.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
