the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
