a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
