there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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