She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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