I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
