is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
