Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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