sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
