my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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