You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
