i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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