just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
As shirtless as possible
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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