i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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