why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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