who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
