Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
