god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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