I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
