Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
