Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
