this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
