he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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