I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
