Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
