so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
