I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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