are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
