Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just want to make out with him forever
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
