so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
