he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
