Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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