I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
