he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
