S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
