Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
