My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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