Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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