Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
