So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
