Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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