fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
