I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
