sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
