i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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