Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
