Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
