First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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